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“Children offsets” to become mandatory February 10, 2009

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
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“Children offsets” to become mandatory

By the blogowner honestclimate, February 10, 2009

As you are all aware, having more than 2 children causes global warming and a huge amount of stress on our natural environment. For those with more than 2 children, the below applies for each additional child.

Children offsets

Child offsets cost a one-off $1million* and cover the below basket of offsets for the lifetime of your additional children.**

Cola offsets: To offset the dangerous carbon dioxide injected into soft drinks

Beer/Wine offsets: Money will be used to plant barley and grapes.

Electronics offsets: This covers computers, tvs, playstations, cell phones, iPods etc.

Automobile offsets: Please note a 20% surcharge for additional male offspring as they are known to buy faster cars which exit more carbon.

F.A.R.T offsets: Belching is also covered under this offset. Please note a 20% surcharge for additional male offspring as they are known to emit more gas.

Hairdryer offsets: This applies to additional female offspring only.

McDonalds offsets: This is to offset bovine belching and gas.

Turbine offsets: Windmills have a propensity to catch fire, the carbon emitting fumes need to be offset.

Cigarette offsets: We endorse cigarette smoking. It’s a very important revenue raiser with which we can purchase more windmills. We still need to purchase 100 million windmills after we destroyed all coal plants through vandalism. The other really great thing about smoking is that it causes early death which means fewer people on earth emitting dangerous carbon dioxide.

Sports offsets: When exercising the human body emits more dangerous carbon dioxide. This must be offset.

Special cuddles offset:
See sport offsets. Also we do not encourage this activity as it can lead to unnecessary births and is the reason for child offsets in the first place.

Denier offsets: Money will be used to finance attacks on any of your little critters who grow up denying that man is responsible for every climate catastrophe in the world.

*Actuarial calculations:
-Based on life expectancy of 80 years
-If you outlive your child, you will be entitled to 50% refund.
-If payment in full is not possible, we will arrange a payment plan.

**The following are exempt from child offsets and are free to have as many children as they wish:
-environmentalists
-climate scientists
-politicians
-celebrities

Time for Denial is OVER January 17, 2009

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
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Time for Denial is OVER

H/T Tom Nelson

Click here for some funny cartoons on global warming, guaranteed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside whilst the globe continues to cool. ..

cartoon

http://ifglobalwarmingisrealthenwhyisitcold.blogspot.com/

UK Met Office Christmas wishlist December 24, 2008

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
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UK Met Office Christmas wishlist

By the blogowner, honestclimate, December 25, 2008




Al Gore started a joke… October 17, 2008

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Al Gore started a joke…

Scientific Peer-Reviewed Proof that spreading climate alarmism causes obesity October 5, 2008

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
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Scientific Peer-Reviewed Proof that spreading climate alarmism causes obesity

honestclimate

honestclimate

By the blogowner, honestclimate, October 5, 2008

We have all suspected this for years, but now we have scientific, peer-reviewed proof that spreading climate alarmism causes obesity.

See figure 1 for the perfect linear relationship between alarmism and obesity…..

Figure 1

Figure 1

Photographic Proof:

Gore - Before

Gore - Before

Gore - After

Gore - Today