Posted by honestclimate in Discussions.
Tags: climate change, climate change hypocrisy, global warming, humor, humour, hypocrisy, hypocrite, prince charles, Prince of Wales
Britains “top climate scientist” declares we have only 100 months left to save the planet
By the blogowner, honestclimate, March 9, 2009

I married my horse!
The Prince of Wales is to issue a stark warning that nations have “less than 100 months to act” to save the planet from irreversible damage due to climate change.
BACKGROUND
THE Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall began their ten-day tour of South America yesterday with the issue of climate change at the top of their agenda.
Prince Charles and Camilla arrived in Chile, but they will also visit Brazil, Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. Highlighting the issue of global warming is a major theme, and this week the prince will give a dire warning on climate change to the world.
Their chartered Airbus arrived at Comodoro Arturo Merino Benitez airport close to Santiago. They were driven away in a limousine, followed by a motorcade of six cars.
Posted by honestclimate in humour.
Tags: carbon footprint, carbon offsets, child offsets, children offsets, climate change, funny, global warming, humor, humour, joke
“Children offsets” to become mandatory
By the blogowner honestclimate, February 10, 2009
As you are all aware, having more than 2 children causes global warming and a huge amount of stress on our natural environment. For those with more than 2 children, the below applies for each additional child.
Children offsets
Child offsets cost a one-off $1million* and cover the below basket of offsets for the lifetime of your additional children.**
Cola offsets: To offset the dangerous carbon dioxide injected into soft drinks
Beer/Wine offsets: Money will be used to plant barley and grapes.
Electronics offsets: This covers computers, tvs, playstations, cell phones, iPods etc.
Automobile offsets: Please note a 20% surcharge for additional male offspring as they are known to buy faster cars which exit more carbon.
F.A.R.T offsets: Belching is also covered under this offset. Please note a 20% surcharge for additional male offspring as they are known to emit more gas.
Hairdryer offsets: This applies to additional female offspring only.
McDonalds offsets: This is to offset bovine belching and gas.
Turbine offsets: Windmills have a propensity to catch fire, the carbon emitting fumes need to be offset.
Cigarette offsets: We endorse cigarette smoking. It’s a very important revenue raiser with which we can purchase more windmills. We still need to purchase 100 million windmills after we destroyed all coal plants through vandalism. The other really great thing about smoking is that it causes early death which means fewer people on earth emitting dangerous carbon dioxide.
Sports offsets: When exercising the human body emits more dangerous carbon dioxide. This must be offset.
Special cuddles offset: See sport offsets. Also we do not encourage this activity as it can lead to unnecessary births and is the reason for child offsets in the first place.
Denier offsets: Money will be used to finance attacks on any of your little critters who grow up denying that man is responsible for every climate catastrophe in the world.
*Actuarial calculations:
-Based on life expectancy of 80 years
-If you outlive your child, you will be entitled to 50% refund.
-If payment in full is not possible, we will arrange a payment plan.
**The following are exempt from child offsets and are free to have as many children as they wish:
-environmentalists
-climate scientists
-politicians
-celebrities
Posted by honestclimate in humour.
Tags: climate change, funny, global warming, humor, humour
FOUNTAINS FROZEN

From the Tim Blair Blog, January 8, 2009
A warmy prediction in England:
The Met Office forecast for the coming winter suggests it is, once again, likely to be milder than average.
That mildness sure has a crisp edge to it:
Yesterday tens of thousands of motorists were left stranded in a record day for car breakdowns amid chaotic scenes on the roads as temperatures in parts of the country dropped to as low as minus 11C (12.2F) …
In central London, shivering tourists witnessed the unusual sight of the fountains in Trafalgar Square frozen.
Trafalgar Square is home to a nice Anglican church. Now, there may be no connection – no connection at all – but this is interesting:
The Church of England’s Church Commissioners have gone green, investing £150 million with former US Vice-President Al Gore’s environmentally minded investment firm, Generation Investment Management.
Thou shalt not serve two masters – especially when one is a proven master of the chilling arts.
UPDATE. Cold, cold, cold.
Posted by honestclimate in humour.
Tags: cartoon, climate change, funny, Global Cooling, global warming, humor, humour, joke, Met Office, uk met office
UK Met Office Christmas wishlist
By the blogowner, honestclimate, December 25, 2008

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
Tags: al gore, Andrew Bolt, anthony watts, Barack Obama, Big Oil, Bjorn Lomborg, climate change, climate scientist, Computer Models, environmentalism, environmentalist, funny, Global Cooling, global warming, humor, humour, ipcc, jokes, lord monckton, obama, political, politics, sceptic, skeptic, Steve McIntyre
How to deal with a Global Warming skeptic in a cooling world
By the blogowner, honestclimate, December 16, 2008
The world is no warmer today than it was in 1998, we can’t have people thinking that global warming has stopped. Below is an easy to understand flow diagram on how to deal with global warming skeptics in a cooling world…
(click image for larger view)

Also don’t forget the below flow diagram on:
How to become a climate scientist
(click image for larger view)

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
Tags: climate change, funny, Global Cooling, global warming, humor, humour
“HOT” POSNER
From the Tim Blair Blog, December 12, 2008
Constant ABC presence Rupert Posner takes a break from hanging by the pool in tropical Poland to chat with his local pals:
On ABC radio this morning he warns that he’s doing the interview without a jacket on this late evening because in warm Poznan “we’re starting to see the impact of climate change right away”.
Yeah. The place is boiling.

“This is the best spring break ever!” reports sweltering Posner
It’s almost as hot in Louisiana, Mississippi, Illinois, California, New Jersey, Washington, Texas, the Poconos and New York. Oh, and New Orleans.
http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/timblair/index.php/dailytelegraph/comments/hot_posner
Posted by honestclimate in humour.
Tags: climate change, funny, global warming, humor, humour, water neutral
First we had Carbon Neutral, now we have Water Neutral?

Warning: This product contains the world's most dangerous pollutant, Carbon Dioxide
By the blogowner, honestclimate, December 5, 2008
There’s an amusing article in the UK Guardian, expressing their ire at Coca-Cola’s “Water Neutral” campaign.
Now I don’t know about you, but shouldn’t they be more concerned by the fact that Coca-Cola’s drinks are carbonated with…..Carbon Dioxide, the world’s most dangerous pollutant?!
Read the UK Guardian’s Article here.