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Friday Fun: Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, April 8th 2010 April 9, 2010

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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, April 8th 2010

The Daily Bayonet, April 8, 2010

Pity the flat-headed cat, for it is doomed. Also, Greenpeace throws a threat down the memory hole, green groups conspire against Africa and Britain is bankrupt but just doesn’t know it, yet.

After all that doom and gloom, you need the hottie.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Read part 1 and the rest of the parts here

Friday Fun: Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Jan. 14th 2010 January 15, 2010

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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Jan. 14th 2010

The Daily Bayonet, January 13th, 2010

Al Gore is mad at the world, the UK and much of Europe is digging itself out from under global warming and eating greens might kill primates unable to access antacids.

Read the rest here

Friday Fun: Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Dec. 3rd 2009 December 4, 2009

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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Dec. 3rd 2009

Via The Daily Bayonet, December 3, 2009

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Where is Al Gore’s secret climategate-proof bunker? Has Heinz saved the planet? Does Hopenchangen have a chance of achieving anything? Dive and discover the answers to these questions, and more.

Read the rest here

“Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I’m flying” August 12, 2009

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“Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I’m flying”

Via Watts Up with That, August 11, 2009

From Planet Gore: Sen. Debbie Stabenow, Energy Leader [Henry Payne]


from http://stabenow.senate.gov/

Detroit, Mich. — Michigan just experienced its coldest July on record; global temperatures haven’t risen in more than a decade; Great Lakes water levels have resumed their 30-year cyclical rise (contrary to a decade of media scare stories that they were drying up due to global warming), and polls show that climate change doesn’t even make a list of Michigan voters’ top-ten concerns.

Yet in an interview with the Detroit News Monday (a private meeting with the DN editorial board), Senator Debbie Stabenow (D., Mich.) — recently appointed to the Senate Energy Committee — made clear that fighting the climate crisis is her top priority.

“Climate change is very real,” she confessed as she embraced cap and trade’s massive tax increase on Michigan industry — at the same time claiming, against all the evidence, that it would not lead to an increase in manufacturing costs or energy prices. “Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I’m flying. The storms are more volatile. We are paying the price in more hurricanes and tornadoes.”

And there are sea monsters in Lake Michigan. I can feel them when I’m boating.


Since Stabenow says Global warming causes more hurricanes and tornadoes, lets have a look at the data.

tornado_graph.gif
Graph from NWS/NOAA. Smaller (F1) tornadoes seem to be on the increase, but not larger ones.

Even though tornado reports seem to be on the rise, the larger damaging tornados, F2-F5 don’t seem to be. There are some good reasons for this, and it might be a good primer for readers to revisit this report I made about the issue of tornado reporting:

Increasing tornadoes or better information gathering?

On the issue of Hurricanes, even USA Today is beginning to have doubts:

excerpt:

The official start of the hurricane season is June 1. And not since 1992 — the year of Hurricane Andrew — has the Atlantic Ocean been silent past Aug. 4. Meteorologists have yet to name even a single tropical storm in the Atlantic in 2009.

So is global warming really doing anything?

“While it is commonly thought that global warming would increase hurricane activity, that is far from a settled issue,” said Rob Eisenson, a meteorologist at Western Connecticut State University. “There are some research studies that suggest global warming would not have that effect.”

NOAA has lowered their hurricane season forecast.

And Accumulated Cyclone Energy is quite low so far this year and lower than usual last year:

Ryan Maue of Florida State University writes in comments in a previous WUWT story:

Global (Northern Hemisphere) tropical cyclone ACE for the months May – June – July is the lowest in at least the past 30-years or more.

I, for one, am not surprised.  Continued inactivity should persist for the next few weeks until the atmosphere catches up with the radiative warming of the tropical oceans due to the season called summer.

2007 was a dud.   2008 was saved from being a record year by 2007.  2009 is behind the pace of both years.  Amazing how natural variability affects tropical cyclone formation, tracks, and intensity.  Who would have thought?

Ryan’s Tropical web page at Florida State University has this graph that shows accumulated cyclone energy (ACE) :

click for larger image

Sorted monthly data: Text File

Note where 2009 is in the scheme of things.

Brrrr, is Al Gore back in the USA? July 22, 2009

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Brrrr, is Al Gore back in the USA?

Brrrr, is Al Gore back in his hometown after his recent carbon emitting trip to Melbourne?

The Gore Effect has struck Al Gore’s hometown of Nashville which has broken cold records set in the year 1897.

Actually looks like the Gore Effect has struck most of the USA:

The USA has set an incredible 1077 Lowest Max Temperatures and 856 Low Temperatures for the week ending Tue 21 July!

Can you imagine how much colder it would have been without all that man-made global warming?

Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth! July 7, 2009

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Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth!

The below cartoon from Minnesotans For Global Warming had me in stitches!


They’ve discovered gold in hell… or how the lie of global warming became the most powerful political force in human history June 23, 2009

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They’ve discovered gold in hell… or how the lie of global warming became the most powerful political force in human history

By Tom DeWeese
web posted June 15, 2009

Not long ago a very talented salesman died and found himself approaching the Pearly Gates. As he drew closer he noticed there was a very long line of people waiting to enter and it wasn’t moving.

Impatient by nature, the salesman pushed his way to the front of the line and confronted a very harried St. Peter. “What’s the hold up,” asked the salesman. “There’s a strike at the pedestal factory and no one may enter Heaven without one,” explained St. Peter. “So, you’ll just have to wait until the strike is settled and they start manufacturing more pedestals.”

That didn’t satisfy the salesman. Always looking to make a deal, he said to St. Peter, “listen, I’m a pretty fair salesman. Let me make you this deal. Let me come into Heaven for just one hour. If I don’t have my own pedestal by that time, I’ll come out and stand in line like everyone else.” St. Peter, happy to get just one person to stop yelling at him, agreed.

So, through the Pearly Gates went the salesman. He saw rows and rows of serene folks standing on their pedestals, happy and content. The salesman walked among the rows until finally he stopped and looked up at one occupant. “Pssst, hey you,” he said. The pedestal occupant looked down and said, “What?” Whispered the salesman, “Don’t tell anyone, but they’ve discovered gold in Hell. No one else knows and it can be yours for the taking.” “Really,” said the occupant. “Sure, go get it,” said the salesman. With that, the occupant jumped off his pedestal and ran down the street. “Well, that was easy,” said the salesman, as he climbed up on the abandoned pedestal.

And there he stood, content and serene, until he began to hear a commotion. Shouting grew louder. The startled salesman looked around, noticing people jumping off their pedestals and running down the streets of Heaven. As they passed the salesman they shouted, “They’ve discovered gold in Hell…they’ve discovered gold in hell!” The shouts grew louder. The excitement grew as more and more took to the streets, heading toward the Pearly Gates.

Finally, several people tugged at the Salesman’s leg and shouted, “come on… they’ve discovered gold in Hell.” “Really,” said the salesman. “Yes, come on,” they shouted. And the salesman jumped off his pedestal and started running down the street with the rest of them.

As he ran through the Pearly Gates, St. Peter grabbed his arm and said, “Where are you going?” The now near-crazed salesman shouted, “They’ve discovered gold in Hell!”

“Wait a minute,” said St. Peter, “You started that rumor.” “I know I did,” said the salesman, “But… All these people can’t be wrong!”

And that’s the way the lie of global warming became the most powerful political force in human history


Save the planet! Trap your own methane June 7, 2009

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Save the planet! Trap your own methane

Andrew Bolt
Herald Sun, June 7, 2009

image

A personal methane collector for the climate catastrophist in your life. An essential gift especially for greens of the mung-beans-eating kind. Extras include a free plastic hose and instructions on where to put it. Order now!

http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/index.php/heraldsun/comments/save_the_planet_trap_your_own_methane

“Children offsets” to become mandatory February 10, 2009

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“Children offsets” to become mandatory

By the blogowner honestclimate, February 10, 2009

As you are all aware, having more than 2 children causes global warming and a huge amount of stress on our natural environment. For those with more than 2 children, the below applies for each additional child.

Children offsets

Child offsets cost a one-off $1million* and cover the below basket of offsets for the lifetime of your additional children.**

Cola offsets: To offset the dangerous carbon dioxide injected into soft drinks

Beer/Wine offsets: Money will be used to plant barley and grapes.

Electronics offsets: This covers computers, tvs, playstations, cell phones, iPods etc.

Automobile offsets: Please note a 20% surcharge for additional male offspring as they are known to buy faster cars which exit more carbon.

F.A.R.T offsets: Belching is also covered under this offset. Please note a 20% surcharge for additional male offspring as they are known to emit more gas.

Hairdryer offsets: This applies to additional female offspring only.

McDonalds offsets: This is to offset bovine belching and gas.

Turbine offsets: Windmills have a propensity to catch fire, the carbon emitting fumes need to be offset.

Cigarette offsets: We endorse cigarette smoking. It’s a very important revenue raiser with which we can purchase more windmills. We still need to purchase 100 million windmills after we destroyed all coal plants through vandalism. The other really great thing about smoking is that it causes early death which means fewer people on earth emitting dangerous carbon dioxide.

Sports offsets: When exercising the human body emits more dangerous carbon dioxide. This must be offset.

Special cuddles offset:
See sport offsets. Also we do not encourage this activity as it can lead to unnecessary births and is the reason for child offsets in the first place.

Denier offsets: Money will be used to finance attacks on any of your little critters who grow up denying that man is responsible for every climate catastrophe in the world.

*Actuarial calculations:
-Based on life expectancy of 80 years
-If you outlive your child, you will be entitled to 50% refund.
-If payment in full is not possible, we will arrange a payment plan.

**The following are exempt from child offsets and are free to have as many children as they wish:
-environmentalists
-climate scientists
-politicians
-celebrities

Fast Forward 2019 The New York Times February 2, 2019 Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fading February 2, 2009

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Fast Forward 2019 The New York Times February 2, 2019 Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fading

By Andrew Revko – New York Times Environmental Reporter

As the Earth continues to cool, UN scientists now concede that CO2 was never the climate driver many made it out to be. The entire multi-trillion dollar global warming movement now appears to have been a result of massive funding, media hype and group think. The UN IPCC claims it never really promoted man-made climate fears and instead urged media outlets to cover its new environmental claim, the scarcity of oxygen on Earth.

The UN issued a warning last week declaring it was “immoral” to question the new consensus that the Earth was fast running out of oxygen. “As citizens of the world prepare to take their last gasps of air, they have no one to blame for our continued inaction but the well-funded oxygen denial industry,” said UN chief Al Gone. [Note: There are actually people warning about the ”oxygen crisis” in 2008.] Researcher Naomi Oresko, echoed Gore, declaring that her analysis of 55,000 studies proved that all scientists agree the Earth is running out of oxygen.

Andrew Dresslear of Gripe Magazine noted that there were only two dozen scientists who are not part of the new consensus regarding the “oxygen crisis.” Many scientists now deny ever being worried about CO2 emissioms. Gavin Schmite maintains he and his colleagues at Wishful Climate never promoted man-made global warming fears. “This is simply the deniers inventing history,” Schmite said. “First the deniers claimed that some scientists hyped a coming ice age in the 1970’s and now they are claiming we hyped warming in the latter part of 20th century and the first decade of the 21th century. What the world needs to understand is Wishfull Climate has never and can never be wrong because all weather and climate are perfectly consistent with all of our models. There has never been a climatic event that was not predicted by our models,” a red-faced Schmite insisted.

Schmite however did concede that climate models have appeared to be incorrect on many occasions. “If a climate event or trend occurred that did not mesh with our models, we simply made some ‘adjustments’ after the fact to ensure the models� reliability,” Schmite said. Schmite made his remarks while he was taking remedial science courses following the advice that prominent atmospheric scientist Dr. Hendrik Tennekes gave to Real Climate’s Gavin Schmidt in 2009. Tennekes is a scientific pioneer in the development of numerical weather prediction and former director of research at The Netherlands’ Royal National Meteorological Institute. )

See: 2009 post: Prominent Scientist ‘Appalled’ By Gavin Schmidt�s ‘lack of knowledge’ – ‘Back to graduate school, Gavin!’ ) Stanford University’s Stephen Schnooder said he knew warming fears were wrong the whole time. “I predicted global cooling in the 1970�s,” Schnooder recalled. “ Whether we face warming or cooling, the key pont is we must have a consensus that crushes any dissent and we must have scientists as political advocates,” Schnooder added.

The lone holdout still promoting global warming doom appears to be NASA scientist James Hansoon who insists that his temperature database shows radical warming still continuing unabated. “I know all other temperature databases-both landbased and satellite show cooling, but they do not account for my patented special adjustment program that can turn cooling into warming,” Hansoon explained. Hansoon expanded his call for “crimes against humanity” trials for Gone, Oresko and Schmite for joining the deniers.

NOTE: Above is a spoof. All credit to Marc Morano. “Any resemblance to persons living or dead is a complete embarrassment”. The New York Times conceded this week that tropical rainforest problems had been hyped, nearly a decade after Morano pointed it out. This is a good sign folks. I’ve always said we’ll know we are winning when comedy writers start to use AGW for material.

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