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Fast Forward 2019 The New York Times February 2, 2019 Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fading February 2, 2009

Posted by honestclimate in humour.
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Fast Forward 2019 The New York Times February 2, 2019 Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fading

By Andrew Revko – New York Times Environmental Reporter

As the Earth continues to cool, UN scientists now concede that CO2 was never the climate driver many made it out to be. The entire multi-trillion dollar global warming movement now appears to have been a result of massive funding, media hype and group think. The UN IPCC claims it never really promoted man-made climate fears and instead urged media outlets to cover its new environmental claim, the scarcity of oxygen on Earth.

The UN issued a warning last week declaring it was “immoral” to question the new consensus that the Earth was fast running out of oxygen. “As citizens of the world prepare to take their last gasps of air, they have no one to blame for our continued inaction but the well-funded oxygen denial industry,” said UN chief Al Gone. [Note: There are actually people warning about the ”oxygen crisis” in 2008.] Researcher Naomi Oresko, echoed Gore, declaring that her analysis of 55,000 studies proved that all scientists agree the Earth is running out of oxygen.

Andrew Dresslear of Gripe Magazine noted that there were only two dozen scientists who are not part of the new consensus regarding the “oxygen crisis.” Many scientists now deny ever being worried about CO2 emissioms. Gavin Schmite maintains he and his colleagues at Wishful Climate never promoted man-made global warming fears. “This is simply the deniers inventing history,” Schmite said. “First the deniers claimed that some scientists hyped a coming ice age in the 1970’s and now they are claiming we hyped warming in the latter part of 20th century and the first decade of the 21th century. What the world needs to understand is Wishfull Climate has never and can never be wrong because all weather and climate are perfectly consistent with all of our models. There has never been a climatic event that was not predicted by our models,” a red-faced Schmite insisted.

Schmite however did concede that climate models have appeared to be incorrect on many occasions. “If a climate event or trend occurred that did not mesh with our models, we simply made some ‘adjustments’ after the fact to ensure the models� reliability,” Schmite said. Schmite made his remarks while he was taking remedial science courses following the advice that prominent atmospheric scientist Dr. Hendrik Tennekes gave to Real Climate’s Gavin Schmidt in 2009. Tennekes is a scientific pioneer in the development of numerical weather prediction and former director of research at The Netherlands’ Royal National Meteorological Institute. )

See: 2009 post: Prominent Scientist ‘Appalled’ By Gavin Schmidt�s ‘lack of knowledge’ – ‘Back to graduate school, Gavin!’ ) Stanford University’s Stephen Schnooder said he knew warming fears were wrong the whole time. “I predicted global cooling in the 1970�s,” Schnooder recalled. “ Whether we face warming or cooling, the key pont is we must have a consensus that crushes any dissent and we must have scientists as political advocates,” Schnooder added.

The lone holdout still promoting global warming doom appears to be NASA scientist James Hansoon who insists that his temperature database shows radical warming still continuing unabated. “I know all other temperature databases-both landbased and satellite show cooling, but they do not account for my patented special adjustment program that can turn cooling into warming,” Hansoon explained. Hansoon expanded his call for “crimes against humanity” trials for Gone, Oresko and Schmite for joining the deniers.

NOTE: Above is a spoof. All credit to Marc Morano. “Any resemblance to persons living or dead is a complete embarrassment”. The New York Times conceded this week that tropical rainforest problems had been hyped, nearly a decade after Morano pointed it out. This is a good sign folks. I’ve always said we’ll know we are winning when comedy writers start to use AGW for material.

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1. atomcat - February 3, 2009

Thank You

I needed that – funny funny stuff – unless you are a mindless UN believing fool!

Just spent some time with one of them – so I really appreciate the humor.

It will be posted on my site in a few minutes.

Thanks again


2. Global Warming Fears Fading « Blowing Our Tax Dollars on Wind Farms - February 3, 2009

[...] Global Warming, News, Politics, United Nations, emissions, skeptics | Tags: IPCC, earth cooling | Fast Forward 2019 The New York Times February 2, 2019 Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fadin… February 2, [...]

3. Francis Tucker Manns - February 6, 2009

Keeping in mind that windmills are hazardous to birds, be wary of the unintended consequences of believing and contributing to the all-knowing environmental lobby groups.
Climate and economy are being linked. Climate is a multiple loop, multiple input, complex system. The facts and the hypotheses do not support CO2 as a serious ‘pollutant’. In fact it is plant fertilizer and seriously important to all life on the planet. It is the red herring used by the left to unwind our economy. That makes the science relevant.
Water vapour (0.4% overall by volume in air, but 1 – 4 % near the surface) is the most effective green house gas followed by methane (0.0001745%). The third ranking greenhouse gas is CO2 (0.0383%), and it does not correlate well with global warming or cooling either; in fact, CO2 in the atmosphere trails warming which is clear natural evidence for its well-studied inverse solubility in water: CO2 dissolves in cold water and bubbles out of warm water. The equilibrium in seawater is very high; making seawater a great ‘sink’; CO2 is 34 times more soluble in water than air is soluble in water.
CO2 has been rising and Earth has been warming. But the correlation trails. Correlation is not causation to be sure. The causation is being studied, however, and while the radiation from the sun varies only in the fourth decimal place, the magnetism is awesome.
“Using a box of air in a Copenhagen lab, physicists traced the growth of clusters of molecules of the kind that build cloud condensation nuclei. These are specks of sulphuric acid on which cloud droplets form. High-energy particles driven through the laboratory ceiling by exploded stars far away in the Galaxy – the cosmic rays – liberate electrons in the air, which help the molecular clusters to form much faster than climate scientists have modeled in the atmosphere. That may explain the link between cosmic rays, cloudiness and climate change.”
As I understand it, the hypothesis of the Danish National Space Center goes as follows:
Quiet sun → reduced magnetic and thermal flux = reduced solar wind → geomagnetic shield drops → galactic cosmic ray flux → more low-level clouds and more snow → more albedo effect (more heat reflected) → colder climate
Active sun → enhanced magnetic and thermal flux = solar wind → geomagnetic shield response → less low-level clouds → less albedo (less heat reflected) → warmer climate
That is how the bulk of climate change might work, coupled with (modulated by) sunspot peak frequency there are cycles of global warming and cooling like waves in the ocean. When the waves are closely spaced, the planets warm; when the waves are spaced farther apart, the planets cool.
The ultimate cause of the solar magnetic cycle may be cyclicity in the Sun-Jupiter centre of gravity. We await more on that.
Although the post 60s warming period appears to be over, it has allowed the principal green house gas, water vapour, to kick in with more humidity, clouds, rain and snow depending on where you live to provide the negative feedback that scientists use to explain the existence of complex life on Earth for 550 million years. Ancient sedimentary rocks and paleontological evidence indicate the planet has had abundant liquid water over the entire span. The planet heats and cools naturally and our gasses are the thermostat.
Check the web site of the Danish National Space Center.

4. Francis Tucker Manns - February 6, 2009

From a Message in a Bottle Washed up on a Beach
The report on my imminent death is premature. I have been sloshing around in the basins on the crust for more than four billion years. I now cover nearly 71 per cent of the planet. Since the last ice age, I have lifted myself out of the basin by 120 metres and scared the tribes of Noah to the higher ground. During deep time, I became the universal solvent for the volcanoes and the clouds. I have taken up as much salt as required by local circumstances and sometimes give it back in hot shallows and desert areas of my world. I have given man the salt in his blood. I have absorbed as much gas as I need to maintain balance with the organic world within me and on land. Your CO2 output is infinitesimally small. The exchange is so peaceful that science calls it equilibrium. I can absorb more CO2, if the plants do not need it, and it does not give me acid imbalance. My pH will remain basic no matter what you say. The variations you measure have come and gone many uncountable times on the planet and your baseline is too small to know the truth. What you do not get is that warming of the oceans releases CO2 and other gasses from my water, while cooling my water allows me to take up CO2 in vast amounts to nestle with the other molecules in my coldest most remote realms. I can absorb all that man can produce because your impact is feeble compared to my capacity.
Please watch me with humility for you cannot change me. I am the ongoing sink for the planet, and I am huge and my heat content is beyond your estimation. Measure me here and there with your microscopes but know that I will never be that way in that place again. Open your mind to the infinite cycles of chemistry and physics and kneel on my beach. You can only hurt me by not respecting my infinite ability to change chemistry and temperature in all the corners of the seas. My CO2 feeds your plants and your plants provide all the oxygen you breathe. Your base line is infinitesimally small yet your mouth is wide open. Stop sending me your plastic water bottles.
Poseidon, the King
I am mostly invisible, but not space. I am the wind you breathe, the 20 km thick shell around your sphere. I am bigger than Poseidon’s realm by many times. I am oxygen, and I am 80% nitrogen. I am both water vapour and humidity. I am carbon dioxide, methane, laughing gas and ozone. Argon, neon helium, and hydrogen make my fireworks in the lightening. I heat you by convection like an oven, cool you with my wind chill, and bury you in my microscopic hexagonal crystal frost. From the poles to the equator and from your caves to Kathmandu, I cover you, feed, and water you and your plants: no wind, and there is no food worth eating, for plants or man. Over four billion years and more, I practiced my cycles. My ozone protects you from your sun’s blue rays; my methane warms your coldest nights. Your green plants whirl out my oxygen all night trading it for my CO2 in the sunshine. When you walk in your forest, be thankful for the bargain.
Without my parts per million CO2, you would choke. Without my parts per million CO2, you would freeze. As your people grow in numbers and size, I need more CO2 to fertilize your food. In my opinion, the more fat children, the merrier, because the earth does not laugh enough. Do not pump my CO2 underground or earth will quake from the wrong as it did under Denver on August 9th1967. When you sequester, be prepared to scavenge for food, and perhaps burn your oxygen for warmth
I am Aeolus
Vulcan – god of fire said, “All the gasses from the mantle of the earth drive my fire and push up my liquid rock. Water affects my temper. When I foam, I am deadly. My carbon dioxide is colourless, and difficult to detect. It is heavy. It sinks and has killed many camped near Lake Nyos, in Cameroon. My sulphur dioxide is a killer too. At more than 20 ppm, it irritates, burns your eyes and is dangerous to breathe. When inhaled, most becomes sulphuric acid. My hydrogen sulphide is easy to smell, like rotten eggs. People are generally able to notice the odour; it can kill you at 50 ppm. My radon is colorless, odourless, tasteless, and radioactive. It can creep into your basement. My hydrochloric acid is colorless, but with an ‘acidic’ odour and taste, My HCl is common around blowholes and in eruptions. It can and will destroy the ozone when it blows to the top of the atmosphere. Just like the liquid acid, my vaporous acid will burn anything it touches – especially the breathers. My sulphuric acid comes in shades of brown and is odourless; exposure results in quick burns and dissolves the outer layers of the teeth. However, my worst most painful acid is hydrofluoric. It is also invisible and will cause deep burns and permanent blindness if not flushed with water. Death by hydrofluoric acid is horrible. Ask the people of Iceland in 1783.
My chimneys are scattered around the planet and one big puff like Krakatau or Pinatubo can ruin your air and cool your world. Between expulsions, my gasses are usually scattered. You will never know when I will speak and kill you because your lives are too short. My CO2 is my most benevolent gas, and I have given you parts per million for you to feed your plants. Use it carefully and do not abuse it. It is weak to fear me and not prosper. I come when I want.
I do not respond to human sacrifice.”
Finally, Gaia – the earth element said:
“Among the ancient elements of Aristotle, the earth element was both cold and dry. He thought I occupied a place between water and fire. Aristotle lived a short span, just a moment ago in universal time, and he did not ask me. I am wet and dry, hot and cold, light and dark in all the rainbow colours. Gaia is rich and overflowing with goodness. My sphere vibrates with the gravity of the solar system. I ring like a bell when I quake, and if gravity dropped me, my sphere would splash like a tear. When my skin slides, I create wealth and prosperity in your copper mines. You dress to match me at your atomic scale with treasures from your tiny mines.
I must admit, your choices of where to cluster astonish me. I guess you do not know me yet.
I condensed more than four billion years ago as stardust gathered at my core. In all that time continuing tomorrow, I am sorting out the stardust into separate useful solids and liquids. I give most of the vapours to Vulcan and Aeolus and most of the fluids to Poseidon and they all share.
So far, you have found only enough gold to fill one house and enough diamonds to fill one truck. There is more where that came from. Find where I have hidden it in the mountains and under the waters. It is good for you to quest – good luck.
Man is late to the life that began in the salty wet clay. You have the salt of Poseidon, the gills of fish, and the brains of monkeys; you have the muscles of babies and the lips of giants. Your eyes magnify everything and what you see scares you. You must place your optical illusions in the perspective of prosperity, health, food, shelter, and clothing. Please listen to your science and not your demagogues . Your footprint is light. How many of you have seen a mine or a well? None! They are rare like diamonds.
Do what you need to do. Make all your people happy. You have wit enough to do it cleanly. Dig my coal and burn it; make it into plant food again and water. Pump my oil and burn it. There is more where you have not looked. There is much where you have already looked in billion tonne layers of rock in Colorado. It is for man to use and recycle. Do not hesitate to scratch me; I do not bleed; I give.
I do not want to be alone. Gaia and man belong together, and you do not know why. Much of my surface is empty of man. Perhaps illusions are the answer to the riddle. There is always more room for the children. Oh yes, the sunspots will be back when the lying stops. ”

5. Francis Tucker Manns - February 6, 2009

Demagogue – a political leader who gains power by appealing to people’s emotions, instincts, and prejudices in a way that is considered manipulative and dangerous.

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